I'd seen a handful of people I knew post about
Minor Feelings on social media, and I suppose that's how I came to be aware of it. I'm not sure why I remember this particular post so distinctly, but I specifically remember one acquaintance posting a photo of her hand holding the book on a plane, so it must have been before the start of the pandemic in the U.S., and so it also must have been just after the book was released. I made a mental note. A few weeks ago my father was visiting and on a stroll through Crown Heights we came across a stack of books on a stoop. My dad is always on the lookout for books, so we stopped to look. Several were ARCs or review copies, which I usually avoid. (When I was younger, I used to love getting my hands on galleys; they made me feel like an insider. But somewhere along the line I lost interest in that feeling, and at the same time started to be put off by the incompleteness of galleys, the low quality cover images, the missing pieces.) But seeing
Minor Feelings, I decided to grab it even though it was an ARC. In fact, there's also a certain upside to books that I don't care about as objects. Last month, I took a trip and brought two books with me: this and
Senselessness (my edition of which, as I mentioned
when I wrote about it, is terribly marked up). I thought if I read them and finished them while I was away, I wouldn't mind leaving them behind. (Of course, as it turned out – as it nearly always turns out when I bring books on trips – I didn't read either, and I brought both back home with me.)
This weekend, I went on another trip. I took the train to upstate New York to spend Mothers' Day with my mom. I was only going to be away for about 24 hours, but it's a two-hour train ride each way, plus another hour or nearly an hour on the subway to and from Penn Station, and I do sometimes read when I'm at my mom's house, so – to be safe – I thought I had better bring a second book in addition to the book I was already reading. On the train up, I read one chapter of the novel I was reading and found I wasn't really in the mood, so I switched and read a couple chapters of Minor Feelings instead. On the train back, I read a few more chapters, and on the subway home from Penn another chapter still. By the time I got off the subway, I had just 50 pages left to read. I was just two chapters short of being able to leave it behind at the Tiny Free Library between the subway and my apartment (though having carried it upstate and back, those last three blocks can hardly be called an additional burden). I got home and hoped to finish it before an evening meeting, but I was still 10 pages shy of the end when I had to set it aside to take my call. I finally read the last few pages around 9:00 last night.
Minor Feelings is divided into seven chapters, each of which is or is almost a stand-alone essay. There are threads that weave through the whole book, but also some of the essays seem to stand so much on their own that they forget or don't acknowledge they're part of a larger book. (This isn't really a criticism of the essays; just something that I noticed in reading them back to back to back.) A couple of them are really wonderful. I was particularly struck by the chapter called "Portrait of an Artist" about the artist and writer Theresa Hak Kyung Cha. Her book Dictee is one I remember seeing around from my time working in bookstores more than 20 years ago; that must have been around the time of its re-release. I read an article about her again much more recently and decided to seek out a copy of Dictee. I've had it for about a year now, but haven't gotten around to reading it yet. Hong's exploration into Cha's murder, her insistence on telling the story (and her interrogation into why it hadn't been told), was eye-opening. The chapters called "Stand Up" and "Bad English" also really stood out for me. In the chapter called "An Education" Hong goes deeply into friendships she had at Oberlin College, where it seems she and I must have overlapped. She mentions having attended Oberlin in the first chapter, but it was only when I got to "An Education" that I seemed to remember having heard earlier that she went there, and now I see that we're the same age. There was a passing mention in that chapter of someone I immediately recognized from my own time there, and suddenly I realize that we must know some of the same people. Her two friends, who have been anonymized, must have known my closest friend while I was there who, like Hong's friends, was a woman of color and art major (a department, as Hong points out, that was dominated by white men). I spent three miserable semesters at Oberlin before dropping out, and reading this chapter brought back everything I hated about it. I couldn't read it from any distance.
The particular strengths of the individual essays aside, this book feels important because of its voice. The titular "Asian American reckoning" has been a long time coming. The idea that Asian Americans are doing just fine has been belied in the last year with the dramatic rise in violence against Asian Americans, but I don't think it's changed the sense that Asian Americans don't face the same challenges that other people of color in the U.S. do. This is something I've seen up close in my professional life. Years ago, when I was in grad school, I remember a conversation about diversity in which a professor of mine actually said out loud, "We don't have to worry about Asians; they're doing even better than white people." I was furious, but struck dumb. I went home that day and found all kinds of data to dismantle my professor's statement and I typed it up coolly into a short little essay and shared it with her and my whole class. She never responded. That was 2012, but I still come across that attitude regularly. In the field I work in, Asian Americans are overrepresented, relative to their population in the U.S. There's a widespread belief that we don't have "to worry" about Asian Americans in our diversity efforts. But even as they're "overrepresented" in the field, taking that representation into account, Asian Americans are underrepresented in leadership roles. And furthermore, Asian Americans aren't equally represented; the group of people who can be described as Asian American is incredibly diverse, and the wealth and education gap within that group of people is huge and persistent. This book speaks with a fury that was absolutely refreshing. I'd like to send a copy to my old professor.