Tuesday, December 8, 2015

My next big reading project

Though the final count remains to be determined, 2015 is going to set a new record for the most books I've read in a single year. I set some reading goals for myself at the beginning of the year, which I've just looked back at (and good thing I did! I may just have time to squeeze in a pre-1900 book before the year's up):
  • At least one book published before 1900
  • At least one work of nonfiction
  • At least two books translated from another language, preferably different languages
  • At least half of the books I read will be by women or people of color (This doesn't feel very ambitious, but it does feel realistic, sadly.)
I didn't undertake any real milestone books this year and there was no particular theme to my reading (though I did read more mystery/detective novels than I ever have before), but in early September I decided to undertake a new reading project - one which I expect will take me several years: I decided to read a book from every country in the world.

It all started in late August when I booked a trip to Mexico City and decided I wanted to read some Mexican literature in preparation. I was disappointed in myself for only having read one Mexican novel, Like Water for Chocolate, and for the fact that besides Laura Esquivel and Carlos Fuentes, I couldn't really name any Mexican novelists. It's a big country, right next door, that in many ways shares a history and culture with the U.S., and which I had visited 3 times, so how could I know so little about its literature? So I turned to Twitter and to friends and asked for recommendations and a handful were forthcoming. I ended up reading 4 additional Mexican novels (as well as a short biography of Leon Trotsky) prior to my trip. Over Labor Day weekend, I was visiting my friend Daniel in San Francisco and talking with him about this and wondering what is "The Great Mexican Novel" and then I asked, "And, well, what is The Great Cape Verdean Novel?" and he asked, "What is The Great Papua New Guinean Novel?" and then I was off.

There are all kinds of (big!) problems with this undertaking. Such as:
  • What is a country?
  • How do I decide what author/what book is from what country?
  • Why novels (or fiction generally)? 
  • If I seek out "The Great X-an Novel," what are the chances I'll end up just reading a bunch more white men?
I tackled the first question first and created a spreadsheet of all the countries in the world, as defined by the U.S. State Department. This list is pretty good and up-to-date and includes the Palestinian Territories and Taiwan, which I wanted to be sure to include in my reading. But as I went about my research, I found the helpful Wikipedia page on Caribbean literature and I got to Martinique, an island in the Caribbean that is an "insular overseas department" of France, which is the birth place of Frantz Fanon, and home to the great Caribbean poet Aimé Cesaire and the novelist Patrick Chamoiseau, whose novel Texaco won the Prix Goncourt in 1992. It felt unjust to leave out a place with such a strong literary history, so I added Martinique to my list, along with the other French overseas departments: French Guiana, Guadeloupe, Mayotte, and Réunion. (Earlier this year - before starting this project - I read Alejo Carpentier's Explosion in a Cathedral, which is largely about the French Revolutionary era in Guadeloupe, and this likely affected my decision as well.) Later, I struggled with and decided in favor of adding the various countries of the United Kingdom. I suppose by my logic I should also add Puerto Rico and Guam. So, my list now stands at 213 countries (or "countries") and is subject to change.

After I had my list of countries, I started filling it in with books I had already read and I quickly realized that who and what books are from where is also not simple. I got as far as Algeria - the 3rd country, alphabetically - and wondered, can I count Camus? I wrote a note to myself, "Consider Assia Djebar or Ahlam Mosteghanemi or Kamel Daoud. Ponder Camus." Then I got to Austria and tried to remember, is Elias Canetti Austrian? Then thought, No! He’s Swiss. But it’s much more complicated than that: Canetti was born in Bulgaria (I thought, Yes! Bulgaria!) and raised there and in Austria, Switzerland, Germany, and England. He spent his early adult life in England and his last 20 years in Switzerland. With several Austrians already on my to-read list, I decided maybe I didn't need an Austrian anyway, but for what country can I count Canetti? He wrote in German, largely about Vienna, so it hardly seems fair to claim him for Bulgaria. Or maybe he has no nation. 

Apart from the questions of political and social geography, there is the problem of choosing the novel as the representative form. The bias inherent in selecting to consume written fiction from every country became apparent almost immediately, when Daniel and I had our conversation about Cape Verdean and Papua New Guinean novels. Later in this same conversation, I thought about the Senegalese novelist and filmmaker, Ousmane Sembène, who switched from writing to film-making to reach a wider audience in his home country. The novel is a western form, and the elevation of fiction writing as a privileged form comes from a western bias. Aside from the decision to include some memoir, drama, and book-length poems in my reading, I don't really have a fix for this problem. It's a problem that's at the very root of my project, and I think the best I can do is acknowledge it and be conscious of it as I read. 

Finally, there is the problem of White Men. I started off with the question "What's the great X-an novel?" but starting off with that question is likely to bias my reading list in favor of white men, even in some places where whites are a minority of the population. If, for instance, I accept Camus for Algeria, and J.M. Coetzee for South Africa, and José Luandino Vieira for Angola, that's three white men as representative writers in Africa and that's a problem. Of course, I don't have to read those writers or to call them representative of those countries. The whole idea that a writer or a novel is representative of a country is something I have to grapple with in this project.  

Of course, the problems listed above aren't the only ones I face. There are problems of language, translation, and availability. But I also don't have to solve any of the problems with this project right away. Even if I read only books from countries I haven't read before, it would take me about 5 years to to get through my list of countries at my current rate of reading, and I don't intend to limit my reading to this project. I've been saying this is kind of a rest-of-my-life project and that may well be true. Since coming up with this concept in September, I've only read books from 3 countries I hadn't read before (though I've read books from 14 countries so far this year).

So, here is the place where I ask for your help. Do you have books or authors that you think I should read? You can look at my spreadsheet and see what I have so far. You'll see there are a lot of holes. Blue indicates I have not yet read a book from that country, bold indicates that I already own the book I intend to read. In case you're wondering, for the countries I've already read, I decided to list the first book I'd ever read from that country as the representative book. 

Finally, I want to acknowledge that there's no such thing as a new idea in the world. Not long after deciding to do this, I was not surprised to discover someone had already done it - and recently! Ann Morgan read books from 196 countries (she used the UN member states list, with some adjustment) and wrote a book and blogged about the experience. Her own explanation is here


Friday, July 31, 2015

An incomplete list of books I had to stop reading because I was sure terrible things were going to happen to the central characters

In reverse chronological order of my reading them:

The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton
Mortals by Norman Rush
Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser
The Tax Inspector by Peter Carey
The Tin Drum by Günter Grass
Native Son by Richard Wright
The Whispering Mountain by Joan Aiken

Saturday, January 3, 2015

2013 in Books and Other Entertainments

It's a good thing I'm such an anal record keeper, because I neglected to do a year-end post about everything I read and saw in 2013. but it's not too late! Or so I am telling myself.

Books! (Those that I finished during 2013)
  • Longitude by Dava Sobel
  • The Dud Avocado by Elaine Dundy
  • The Little Pink House by Jeff Benedict
  • Reamde by Neal Stephenson
  • The Children's Book by A.S. Byatt
  • If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin
  • War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy
  • The Likeness by Tana French
  • The Spy Who Came in from the Cold by John le Carré
  • The Blue World by Jack Vance
  • Look At Me by Jennifer Egan
  • Raj by Gita Mehta
  • Nervous Conditions by Tsitsi Dangarembga
  • The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
  • The Last Samurai by Helen DeWitt
  • Faithful Place by Tana French
  • Libra by Don DeLillo
  • The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson
  • Sea of Poppies by Amitav Ghosh
  • River of Smoke by Amitav Ghosh
  • The Child in Time by Ian McEwan
  • Never Mind by Edward St Aubyn
In 2013, I pretty much met my 2015 reading goals (need one more work in translation, but I think War and Peace counts extra, right?), so maybe I need to rethink those now?

According to my ratings on Goodreads, my favorite books were Reamde, The Children's Book, and the two Amitav Ghosh books (these are the first two of the Ibis trilogy, the last book of which comes out this year), and this seems about right. I might add The Diamond Age, because I feel like it has stayed with me looking back now.

I guess I like to do one long slog a year, and in 2013 that was War and Peace. I read it pretty much concurrently with writing my Master's thesis, which worked out oddly well. Each served as a pleasant break from the other.

I made a concerted effort to read a bit of genre fiction in 2013, which I don't usually read. I especially enjoyed The Spy Who Came in from the Cold.

My other honorable mention goes to The Last Samurai.

Movies! (Seen in theaters)
  • The Moment
  • Stories We Tell
  • Frances Ha
  • Before Midnight
  • The Manxman (1929)
  • Much Ado About Nothing
  • Rosemary's Baby (1968)
  • Fruitvale Station
  • Blue Jasmine
  • Newlyweeds
  • Gravity
  • 12 Years a Slave
  • Carrie (2013)
  • Nebraska
  • American Hustle
Other!
I saw two operas in 2013: The Nose at the Met and Anna Nicole at BAM. I saw no plays, apparently.

2014 in Books and Other Entertainments

Books! (Those that I finished during 2014)
  • Bad News by Edward St Aubyn
  • The Game by A.S. Byatt
  • Pattern Recognition by William Gibson
  • The Enchanted Waltz by Anne Enright
  • Number 9 Dream by David Mitchell
  • Mildred Pierce by James M. Cain
  • Man Walks Into A Room by Nicole Krauss
  • The Glass Palace by Amitav Ghosh
  • Met At Arms by Evelyn Waugh
  • Officers and Gentlemen by Evelyn Waugh
  • The End of the Battle by Evelyn Waugh
  • The Black Prince by Iris Murdoch
  • The Heart is a Lonely Hunter by Carson McCullers
  • Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
  • The Secret History by Donna Tartt
  • The Haunting of L by Howard Norman
  • Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
  • Gilead by Marilynne Robinson
  • Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
  • The Leopard by Giuseppe de Lampedusa
  • In the Country of Last Things by Paul Auster
Plus an unpublished novel by an acquaintance, to whom I owe feedback on said novel and feel terrible for not having provided to date.

Notes on what I read:
Right around this time one year ago, I read the first two of the Patrick Melrose novels by Edward St Aubyn. The series had been recommended to me by two people whose judgment I trust. However, I found them unbearable. I still think perhaps I'll go back and read the remaining books - or at least the two that are in the compilation I got for Christmas last year, but then I'm not sure if it's worth it.

According to the ratings I gave on Goodreads, my favorite books of the year were The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, The Glass Palace, and Man Walks Into a Room. This seems about right to me.
  • I think I had always had an aversion to The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter at least in part out of a skepticism I have toward brilliant works by extraordinarily young people. I think I expect that either the works will be impressive for someone that age, or that the writing will espouse a sort of knowing worldliness that I think of as not possible for young people. (This is undoubtedly a reflection on myself and how experienced and knowing I believed myself to be when I was younger.) In any case, I didn't find either of these to be true of The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter. I loved it. 
  • The Glass Palace was the third novel I've read by Amitav Ghosh and I've loved all three. It spans a century, with overlapping family dramas, and a good dose of British colonial history in Burma an India. I am anxiously awaiting the publication of the 3rd book in Ghosh's Ibis trilogy (due August 2015!) and plan to read some of his other works this year.
  • Man Walks Into a Room feels a little smaller, somehow, than the previous two books. (It probably is shorter.) It's the story of an amnesiac, which I guess is a fairly common trope, but the challenges facing an individual, and the relationships of that person, when he loses his memory felt exceptionally well thought through and tender.
Though I gave lower ratings to each of the Evelyn Waugh novels than I did to those listed above, I really enjoyed the Sword of Honour trilogy. I think it stands as a whole better than any of the individual books. After reading several of his novels over the last 10 years in the hope of finding again what I loved so much about Brideshead Revisited, this trilogy was close. However, it also had a good dose of racism of the British colonial era that was occasionally hard to swallow. The other notable mentions I have from 2014 are The Haunting of L and Number 9 Dream.

I also can't go without talking briefly about Infinite Jest. It was a slog - it took me 2 months plus one week to finish. Parts of it were brilliant. I loved what DFW did with language. Some of it was extremely tedious, and I'm not sure to what purpose. I'm glad I did it, and I'm very glad it's behind me now.

This is the first year in a while that I haven't read anything published before the 20th Century. The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter (1940) was the oldest book I read. I read 8 books published in the 21st Century, which may well be a record for me. I read 8 books by women, only 2 books by people of color, and only 1 book that was written in a language other than English.

Some of my friends are setting goals for a number of books to read  in 2015, but I've decided I'm not going to set that type of a goal for myself this year. However, I am going to set a couple other goals for my reading:
  • At least one book published before 1900
  • At least one work of nonfiction
  • At least two books translated from another language, preferably different languages
  • At least half of the books I read will be by women or people of color (This doesn't feel very ambitious, but it does feel realistic, sadly.)
A funny thing I realized about my reading in 2014 - and before - is that I read books largely on recommendations I receive, and most of the recommendations I take come from men. I read 8 books after they were recommended to me by others last year, and only 2 of those recommendations came from women (one of which was my least favorite book I read last year). I'm not sure what this says, exactly, but when I was looking over my shelves yesterday trying to decide what to read, I started to notice the sheer number of books I own that were recommended to me my men. So, women! send me some book suggestions.

Movies! (That I saw in theaters. Maybe missing some?)
  • Inside Llewen Davis
  • The Wolf of Wall Street
  • Secret Defense (1998)
  • The Monuments Men
  • Alphaville (1965)
  • Philomena
  • About Last Night
  • The Silence (1963)
  • Veronica Mars
  • Shadow of a Doubt (1943)
  • The Lunchbox
  • A Most Wanted Man
  • Interstellar
  • Gone Girl
  • The Imitation Game
  • Birdman
Other!
I only went to one opera in 2014: Die Zauberflöte at the Met. I saw two plays in 2014: A Doll's House at BAM and A Raisin in the Sun on Broadway. I also saw Isabelle Rossellini do Green Porno live at BAM, which was great.

I have never included TV in my year-end lists before, but I must mention Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries. I was sick with a terrible cold over the long Thanksgiving weekend and watched all 26 episodes in four days. A+++ would watch again!

Thursday, January 3, 2013

2012: The Year in Review

It's not too far into 2013 for a 2012 round-up, is it?

BOOKS!
Last year, I read 11 books. I don't consider this particularly impressive (in 2011, I read 33 books!), but toward late December it looked like it might have been only 9 and I would have considered that pathetic. So, in the end, I was pleased. In 2012, I read:

Parade's End by Ford Maddox Ford
Motherless Brooklyn by Jonathan Lethem
David Copperfield by Charles Dickens
Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier
The Museum of Innocence by Orhan Pamuk
In the Woods by Tana French
Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson
Black Swan Green by David Mitchell
2666 by Roberto Bolaño 
The Believers by Zoë Heller
The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz

I got really stuck reading The Museum of Innocence - it took me nearly four months to finish and put me in a reading slump throughout the summer. This was particularly disappointing because with no school over the summer, I had expected to get a lot of reading done. In the end, I actually liked the book, but I'm not sure it was worth the effort to get there. I probably should have given it up in June. 2666 was definitely my favorite book that I read during the year with Parade's End a close second. The Believers was a fascinating read for me, because the biography of a central character was, I am almost certain, based on the life of William Kunstler, whose daughters I grew up with. Some parts of the book were eerily familiar. (To clarify, the story is not his and the family that surrounds the character are not his, but the basic biography of a central character seemed to be borrowed from Bill's life.)

MOVIES!
In theaters, I saw 18 movies:

Young Adult
A Dangerous Method
My Week with Marilyn
The Secret World of Arrietty
Voyage to the Moon
Damsels in Distress
Magic Mike
Searching for Sugar Man
Wuthering Heights
Looper
The Master
The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Cloud Atlas
Skyfall
Central Park Five
Argo
Anna Karenina
Django Unchained
Amour

I can't say this was an exceptionally good year for movies (at least the ones I saw).  Amour stands out, and not solely because it's what I saw most recently. I really enjoyed Looper, Damsels in Distress, Young Adult, Skyfall, and Django Unchained. Seeing Magic Mike on opening night at the UA Court Street was a hilarious and memorable experience.

OTHER!
I saw a few operas in 2012:

Faust at the Met
Götterdämmerung at the Met
La Traviata at BAM (NYC Opera)
Manon at the Met
The Barber of Seville at the Met

I also traveled (for pleasure) a bunch in 2012. I went to Park City, Utah in February; California (the Bay Area and Napa) in April; Spain and Portugal in July; and Montreal and Quebec City in August.

And I ate some incredible meals (many of them on my travels) in 2012. Notable meals of 2012 include dinner at Ilili in January; dinner at the Riverhorse in Park City, UT in February; dinner at Commis in Oakland, CA in April; dinner at French Laundry in Yountville, CA in April; dinner at Mission Chinese in San Francisco, CA in April; the Monday crab prix fixe dinner at Kin Shop in May; the Lomo Saltado at Coppelia on more than one occasion (including once in June); dinner at La Mucca in Madrid in July; dinner at Book in Porto in July; dinner at Gwynnett St. in August; Cafe le St. Malo in Quebec in August; Lunch at Totonno's in August (it was my first ever visit - good thing I got there before Sandy!); dinner at Prime Meats in September; dinner at Barboncino in September; dinner at St. Anselm in October; ramen at Chuko twice; and I can't leave out the many many slices of pizza I've picked up at King's Pizza on Fulton Street since it reopened earlier this year.

And then there was school. The end of 2012 marked the approximate 2/3 mark of my graduate program. All I can say is that it is a relief to have what's behind me over and I look forward to being completely done in July. I guess I can also say that it has been an interesting and mostly rewarding experience and that I've made some good friends.

Finally, I did a lot of biking last year. My biggest accomplishment of 2012 was riding approximately 105 miles in the NYC Century on September 9. Go me!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Letter from my dad

On a magnet board over my desk, I keep a letter my dad sent me when I was away at camp at age 12:

Aug-10
Dear Clare-Babe,

Sorry, no apricots. You'll have to try papaya instead (it looks kind of gross, but I know that I like papaya juice, so maybe it's alright).

Not much new here at the ranch. Mom & I saw an interesting movie last night: "Wings of Desire." It's about a bunch of real-life angels in modern-day Berlin (Germany). Boy, were they nice people (I mean angels). If you are interested in seeing it when you get back, I'll be glad to go again. I think I'll recommend it to Deborah [our art teacher].

See you a week from Saturday in Rye.

Ta-ta.

Au revoir.

Daddy

I never did see Wings of Desire back then, but I have by now seen it several times and it ranks among my favorite movies. I love that my dad thought that 12-year-old me would be mature enough to appreciate that movie. I doubt he was right about that. In any case, this letter makes me really happy.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Movies I Saw During 2010

I know we've got two more days left in the year, and I've still got 3 movies I would like to see still in my calendar for tonight and tomorrow, but I actually doubt I'll make it to any of them. So, with no further ado, here is the list of movies I saw in theaters during 2010 (in chronological order):


The Seven Year Itch
Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
Le Feu Follet
My Dinner with Andre
A Single Man
Broken Embraces
Youth In Revolt
Crazy Heart
The White Ribbon
High and Low
Rififi
Rashomon
Hurt Locker
Ran
Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus
Band of Outsiders
Five Easy Pieces
The Young Victoria
The Runaways
Le Cercle Rouge
Close-Up
Greenberg
Chloe

Nightfall
The Law
Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work
The Kids are All Right
Charade
Inception
Notorious
Arsenic and Old Lace
Bromance with Condi
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Extra Man
The Emperor Jones
Alice in the Cities
Winter’s Bone
The Fearless Vampire Killers
Mesrine: Killer Instinct
Style Wars
Kings of Pastry
Bridge on the River Kwai
The Social Network
The Town
Un Flic
Vision: From the Life of Hildegard von Bingen
Strange Powers
Raging Bull
Tiny Furniture
For Colored Girls
Poison
The Marriage of Maria Braun
Every Man for Himself
Waste Land
Bonnie and Clyde
The King’s Speech
True Grit
The Black Swan

Thursday, September 2, 2010

The Post-Break-Up Communiqué

Last night I was put in the awkward situation of telling a good friend of mine that a guy she considered a friend, was mildly interested in romantically, and had slept with in the last month has a girlfriend. He's someone I've only met a couple times, primarily through her. But I'm friends with him on facebook and saw a couple weeks ago that his relationship status had changed to "in a relationship" and shortly thereafter he posted a picture called "the lady." I'd known for a while that my friend should probably be apprised of this, but I also kind of thought it might all blow over. She complained to me that she had texted him a couple times and not heard back. She was annoyed not because she was so interested in him (or so she says, and I believe her), but because she felt he was treating her poorly as a friend. Anyway, the news of his relationship was upsetting to her and her immediate response was to text him and ask, "Do you have a girlfriend?" and then subsequently a second text that was more accusatory. He wrote back apologetically and, while walking home from dinner, my friend and I discussed how she should respond, but also, more broadly, how one does respond to these things. She and I are in very different camps on this.

Had I been in her position, I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have written at all. If I had written, I think I would have said something more along the lines of, "Everything is so much clearer to me now that I know you have a girlfriend." And then I think I would have let it go. The communication with him, that is. This is not at all to say that I wouldn't be hurt, but that I think my response would be to display dismissiveness toward him and deal with my hurt by myself. My friend had a counter-argument, of sorts, to this behavior. She said that the first time she had been in a similar situation, she had put on a show of not caring and being happy for the guy and that, afterwards, she had always regretted not letting him know how she really felt. In the future, she didn't want to pretend she wasn't hurt by the behavior of others.

I have been the recipient of my fair share of post-break-up letters and the like. They're always painful to read, but I save them and, occasionally, I go back to them. Usually, it seems, at the end of other failed relationships, to torture myself further. But they also kind of cheer me up in some, no doubt sick, way. I have a note that was slipped into a book I was reading at the time of a break-up that simply says, "I love you. A." that I've carried in my wallet among my various membership and loyalty cards since the day I discovered it. When I come across it by accident, it makes me happy in that stabbed-in-the-heart sort of way.

But I've never sent a post-break-up letter myself.* I have written such letters, but never given them to the former lover. I guess I have a fear of vulnerability. Also, I think I have behaved thinking that one's mourning is one's own and not something one should (or perhaps even can) impose on another person. While they are ostensibly a way of communicating one's feelings, break-up letters often also serve (intentionally or otherwise, but usually with some intention I think) to cause guilt or remorse in the other person. The writer knows that that the contents will hurt the recipient, and the letters may be written as a way to share the pain of a break-up rather than feel that one is experiencing it alone. But, while we are all in pain, we also all break up alone. Each person's pain is his or her own, and though it may be some consolation to know that the other person is also in pain, I don't think it actually reduces the pain or speeds the recovery. In fact, knowing that the other person is suffering may prolong it. (Or so suggests some theory I am developing in my head right now.)
*I have sent exactly 2 apology notes. One quite brief one rather long.

However, given the relationship I have with the break-up letters I've received, I wonder if my thinking is (at least partly) wrong on the subject of whether one should or should not write one. (I am working on another theory in my head right now which suggests that perhaps one should write what one feels at the time of the break-up, but share it much later, after reflection, but I think there's a fair chance that this is an absolutely terrible idea.)

My friend probably texted this guy back last night when she got home. She had more she wanted to say. I doubt she will actually sit down and write him a lengthy response - I don't think their relationship was so significant that it would inspire that. But I'm left wondering whether her response (i.e., tell the person what you're feeling, that what they've done has hurt you) is productive or counter-productive (or, you know, without effect).

So, post-break-up communiqués: Yea or Nay?

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

White people hate stuff

And now we begin in earnest...

News of the recently signed law attempting to put an end to ethnic studies programs in high schools in Arizona struck a chord with me. I am a white woman. I graduated from college in 2004 with a bachelor's degree in Africana Studies, an interdisciplinary major focusing on the African Diaspora. That was my only major. I took classes both within the Africana Studies department as well as in History, English, and Anthropology, all focusing on African, African-American, or Caribbean topics. My degree-granting institution was a large state school and a very diverse one - in terms of race, age, and socio-economic status. At the introductory level and in most of the out-of-department courses, my classes tended to have representation from all corners of the school. At the upper level, things changed a bit, understandably. I was the only white student in my Senior Seminar and one of only two in my Methods class, both of which classes were requirements for the major and limited to students majoring or minoring in Africana Studies. By the time I graduated college, ten years after starting, a lot of people wondered how I got into the field. Though I was 18 and naive when I did, my entree into the field was quite deliberate.

At 18, I was a product of a New York City public high school with no majority race or ethnicity. I graduated from that school in 1994 and went off to college at a small, exclusive liberal arts school hundreds miles from my home both physically and experientially. During high school, I had mingled among many social circles. I spent my senior year listening almost exclusively to hip-hop and R&B and trying to pass for Puerto Rican (or at least ethnically ambiguous, which I most certainly am not). I won't claim that I ever felt I truly fit in or that my high school was a happy melting pot (or tossed salad or bouquet or whatever description of ethnic-racial harmony you might prefer), but to be a white girl and to dress like I did and to listen to hip-hop was not unusual in my surroundings. And I believed that these things formed my identity in a certain way and that others would recognize this and understand. However, when I arrived at my at-least-80% white college, I found that my experience and my self-identification just didn't translate. While fumbling through my first semester, academically and socially, I started to discover ways to meet the people I wanted to, the people with whom I most identified. I had followed college basketball as a teenager, but that was Big East ball. However, I became a regular at my college's Division iii basketball games. I attended lectures by Bob Moses and Angela Davis when they came to my college. I went to hip-hop nights at the campus nightclub.

At the same time as all this was going on, I also started to have an academic crisis of sorts. I had entered college with the intention of majoring in Art History and becoming a curator. However, my experiences on arriving at college gave me a distaste for the exclusivity of the field. It felt selfish and useless to me. My second semester, I signed up for two Art History classes, both focused on the Northern Renaissance, and two African-American Studies classes. By the end of that semester, I was a declared African-American Studies major and I had decided I wanted to teach history in New York City public high schools. I thought that my major would give me good perspective for what I would face teaching in New York while providing a solid grounding in both African-American and African history (the latter of which was part the curriculum for Sophomores in NYC schools). My third semester, I signed up for several more African-American Studies courses and my fourth semester I spent abroad in Zimbabwe.

On returning from Zimbabwe, I went through several mini-life-crises that resulted in my leaving the small, exclusive liberal arts college, doing a bunch of other things, and finally returning to college full time in 2003. When I arrived at my state school alma mater, graduating quickly was my top priority. A review of my transfer credits showed that I was only a couple classes away from completing an Africana Studies major, so I returned, somewhat reluctantly I'll admit, to the field. While I hadn't lost interest in race history and race politics in my time out of school, I had developed different academic interests that I would have liked to pursue. But I was prepared to focus academically and I devoted myself to my classes diligently, if not entirely enthusiastically.

As the product of an ethnic studies program (or, technically speaking, a few ethnic studies programs), I can say from experience that these in no way breed hatred toward white Americans. They may even do quite the opposite. Any study of American History (or current events) from the perspective of a racial or ethnic minority is bound to reflect badly on white history and the dominant white culture of the U.S. Governor Jan Brewer of Arizona and the state Superintendent of Public Instruction there are obviously well aware (and afraid) of this reality. However, ethnic studies programs provide context for the experiences of students (both non-white and white) and draw attention to the importance of cultural sensitivity. This serves to benefit all students.

I'm not expecting to change any minds here. Obviously, supporters of this law won't see much value in my experience and will probably just wonder why I would waste my time majoring in Africana Studies. (Or, the question I always get, "What kind of job will that get you?" Well, a pretty good job in non-profit management, it seems.) But I did want to share my experience as a graduate of an ethnic studies program in light of the new law.

Managing my online life

I set this page up a long time ago and never once posted to it. In the interim, I have occasionally maintained another Blogger blog; a Tumblr; a few Twitter accounts; a FriendFeed account (ok, maintain might not be accurate for this particular account); a Posterous account (ok, maintain might not be accurate for this one either, for different reasons); and a very active facebook presence. However, with the August 2009 Facebook acquisition of FriendFeed, my incomplete satisfaction with Posterous, and my desire to occasionally post more than Twitter will accommodate, I've decided I may actually put this site to use. (I'm choosing this over my other Blogspot blog for, I hope, obvious reasons. Why I'm choosing this over my Tumblr I cannot completely explain.) I expect this will actually primarily consist of autoposts from my Posterous. So, we'll see how that goes. Ok?